Misery Can Eat You Alive

This is a true story about a woman I worked with for several years.
I'm sure we all know at least one person who cannot find a good thing to say about anything or anyone. Your typical "miserable" person who could have $10 million handed to her and would complain that it wasn't $10 million and $1.
This was such a person.
The sky would be blue, the temperature warm and the flowers in full bloom. She would point out one small cloud that loomed in the horizon, that it was two degrees warmer in another town and that the petals on the tulips were wilting prematurely.
She had nothing good to say about anyone we worked with, and I thought we had a great group of people.
I eventually started to avoid her because try as I would to get her to find something good in the world, she would strike down my every effort.
When we would learn of anything new in the workplace, she would immediately react with anger and start venting her opinion to anyone within earshot.
I decided to distance myself from her because I could not raise her energy and she was bringing mine down.
Science has proven that the way we think, feel and react has an impact on our health and physical well-being.
When someone is constantly sick or suffering from one ailment or another, this may often be a reflection of what is going on in his or her thoughts.
Of course, there are always exceptions; however, I have observed that many of those who live in a constant state of negativity, and who react to many situations based on their judgments, suffer more maladies and chronic illnesses than those who don't.
I often contemplated this theory when thinking of my co-worker and I wondered if some day she would suffer a fatal heart attack or terrible illness because she was so filled with anger and negativity.
While working a Tuesday afternoon shift, she booked off duty early and went home because she had a small bruise on her leg that was causing her intense pain.
Later that same evening, she was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with flesh eating disease.
Wednesday her leg was operated on and it was learned that the disease had spread into her other leg and abdomen.
Thursday she was given her last rights.
When I heard of this series of events, I was shocked and saddened. I listened to others saying, "How could this happen? She's young and so healthy."
I couldn't help but think to myself that her thoughts and negative feelings might have finally manifested themselves through her physically. Somehow I was not so surprised anymore by the terrible news.
She remained in Intensive Care for many months and even though she was not expected to live more than four days from her diagnosis, she remains with us today.
She has very little left of her legs, endured numerous operations on several organs, and spent many months in physical, mental, spiritual and emotional agony. Many months passed before she was able to see her two young children.
I often think of her when I am inclined to react to certain situations in a negative way, or when I am tempted to fall into a negative pattern of complaining or criticizing.
One of the great powers we have is the power to choose, and when I’m faced with the choice of complaining or making the best of a situation, I take the high road.
Do I do it consistently? Not always. After all, I am human and do make mistakes. But, every day I continue to strive to be better than I used to be.
What can you do today to create a more positive outlook on life?

Life lessons

Ju was physically abused as a child. She lived with a mother who was diagnosed with post depression and a father who was a wife abuser.
Her parent divorced and left six of them with her mother. She left school at 15 and went to work waiting tables to help her mother feed them all.
At 18 she met and fell in love and was married soon after. Then she found out that her husband drank too much, slept around with other women, a wife abuser and took drugs.
She was divorced at age 20 with two children. Her husband took their son away and handed him to his friend. He was sent to jail for an offence with the law.
Her husband's friend did not want to hand the boy over to her and demanded money in exchange. The child had scars on his chest due to burnt from cigarette butts. That was what he got for crying out for food.
She finally managed to get her son back. She left her children in her mother's care while she left to find a job.
At 28 she had an accident. Her dress caught fire and she suffered 2nd degree burns.
With that her self-esteem and self-confidence went down the pit. She was depressed. She attempted suicides several times and was given psychiatric treatments.
After a major surgery and lots of counseling and support from relatives and friends, she started her life all over again even with one partly deformed hand and fingers.
Her anxiety was all the time still present. It was tougher to find a job. She felt like a disabled person.
The one thing that kept her going in spite of her misfortune was her will to be able to feed herself and sent money for her children. She did not want to ask for financial support.
At 38 she was diagnosed with cancer of the cervix. That was a big blow to her. She went through another depression episode.
"Why me?" was the question she repeatedly asked. Of course when she asked that question, she got all the wrong answers. She felt more depressed. She blamed her father, her mother and everyone for what brought her sufferings. Worst, she blamed herself.
She agreed to go for the treatments, chemotherapy and cesium, because she did not want to go through the pains.
This was when she took the time to look within her. She thought that she might not live long enough so she decided to reconnect with her children. It was not easy especially with her son who had gone through his own childhood trauma.
She turned to her family for moral support and she turned to God.
Now eight years later, she is still alive. Waking up and able to breathe for another day is a gift for her.
She has two grandchildren whom she adores and that give her much joy. She takes some jobs every now and then when her health permits and rests when she needs it.
Her question has changed. She now asks what is it she could do to get more out of what is left?
Things happen and happen to us all. Life does not play favorites. Everyone has a story to tell.
It is how we handle it that matters. We do not have to wait until a major catastrophe interrupts us to think of what we should do with our lives.
It is up to us to make or break us. No one can tell our brain and mind what to do. No one can tell us what to think of and what to put inside our head.
We have the power to think what we want to think. To forget past hurts or to linger with them.
We can decide, plan and take action on what we want to have, do or be. At least when the universe intervenes, we know that we have done our best.