Friday, April 10, 2009

The Difference Between Winning and Losing

Some of the significant differences between winning and losing are:


Hanging on, persevering,
WINNING
Letting go, giving up easily,
LOSING

Accepting responsibility for your actions,
WINNING
Always having an excuse for your actions,
LOSING

Taking the initiative,
WINNING
Waiting to be told what to do,
LOSING

Knowing what you want and setting goals to achieve it,
WINNING
Wishing for things, but taking no action,
LOSING

Seeing the big picture, and setting your goals accordingly,
WINNING
Seeing only where you are today,
LOSING

Adopt a WINNING attitude!
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Steps to Happiness

Everybody Knows,
You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.


So,
You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others, because no one else is in the contest of "being you".


Then,
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.
And you'll be a most vital mortal.


Believe,
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in all history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.









Success Comes To Those Who Persevere

Although you may not be totally familiar with the geography of part of Maritime Canada, particularly with the absence of a permanent link between Prince Edward Island and the Province of New Brunswick, the thought of linking these two provinces permanently was only a dream. The transportation link between these two provinces was either by ship or, in more modern times, by ferry.


In order to link these two provinces permanently meant that many technological obstacles had to be overcome, but perseverance, the vision of a permanent link, paid off. The permanent linking was accomplished by designing and then building a unique bridge. The project began in 1993, and the 12.9-kilometer (approx. 14 miles) Confederation Bridge officially opened on May 31, 1997.


Forming an integral part of the Trans Canada network, the Confederation Bridge is the longest bridge over ice-covered waters in the world. Many obstacles had to be overcome including the tremendous pressure from ice along its pylons during the winter and the spring thaw.


The key to the success of building this unique bridge over a period of four years was perseverance. No matter the task, perseverance is the ability to keep going in spite of obstacles and challenges. Perseverance is the realization that challenges along the way are only minor detours on the march to success.


"Our energy is in proportion to the resistance it meets.
We attempt nothing great but from a sense of the difficulties we have to encounter,
we persevere in nothing great but from a pride in overcoming them."

Saturday, January 17, 2009

A BALANCE LIFE

People as busy and stressed as lawyers often do not take the time to check in with themselves periodically about where they are in their lives. They tend not to stop and ask what is giving meaning and value to their lives. Sometimes the idea of doing so is frightening because of what they think they might find. In my coaching practice, I do meet many lawyers who want to make some adjustments about the way they are living. Most of the time the fear is unwarranted because even the smallest adjustment is all that is needed to make a world of difference. It's not a matter of giving up the life you know. Unless it is a health issue, even when large adjustments are indicated, it is not necessary to make major life changes overnight. Everything can be done gradually, step by step. Life is a journey and there is something to glean at every stage. In fact, most people live much longer than previous generations and therefore have opportunities to develop and express many aspects of their personalities, talents and interests.
Take 5 minutes to do the following exercise. I promise the return on that investment (ROI) will be manifold.
Balance WheelPick 8 words from this list or add your own words that represent the most important areas of your life. family, health, fun, work, financial, friends, partner, vacations, community, recreation, personal, development, spiritual, career development, work environment, home environment, support, system. Again, let the words mean what you want them to mean. Place the words on the spokes of the wheel. Place your 8 words at each spoke and place a mark on the spoke to indicate your degree of satisfaction at this time in your life of that particular item. For example, if your spiritual life is making you happy, you may want to indicate it as near a 10 (a high level of satisfaction). If you are not happy at work you may markt it a 2, near the 0 at the center (a low level of satisfaction). When you are through, connect your dots and notice how balanced or unbalanced your wheel is.Now that the picture of the balance in your life at this moment in time is in front of you, ask yourself which of those areas are priorities to improve and which are fine as they are. Make a plan and a commitment to take only one or two small steps a week toward getting the balance you want. Does it mean making a weekly date with your spouse and/or your children? Might you be more careful in the clients you accept? How about phasing out some of those who make you miserable? Does it mean taking brief breaks throughout your day to refresh yourself by focusing on something of interest other than work? Perhaps a time management structure would make a big difference. Would you like to do something spiritual like taking a class or attending religious services? Does it mean developing a hobby or at least subscribing to a magazine featuring an interest of yours? What about music, listening to it more, learning or playing an instrument? Does it mean planning what you will do in the next stage of your life?

CHANGES

If you have ever tried to quit smoking or to change some major behavior that you have habitually done for many years, you will know how powerful our habits are. Human habits are a tough nut to crack, but like any tasty nut in a hard shell, it is very rewarding to break through the barrier holding you back.A powerful way to reach inside and create new habits or behaviors is to learn why we do what we do, and how much better it would be if we didn't do it!. We simply do not change long held beliefs or behaviors unless we are somehow shocked by how bad our behavior is or we are motivated to change by seeing the benefits or rewards for our new actions. Another way of looking at it is that we act like donkeys: We run after the tasty carrot in front of us, or we run from the whipping of our behind. Motivational Change with the WhipOrganizations like the animal rights group PETA understand very clearly how the whipping works on our habits and behaviors. On their PETA TV website they have very graphic and shocking videos that show the negatives of wearing fur or eating animals. Their aim is to shock us into changing our way of thinking about animals and the way they are treated in the fur or abattoir industries. In order to get us to stop eating meat and wearing fur they show us the most worst possible images that these behaviors create, urging us to change. Motivational Change with the CarrotWith the opposite extreme, advertisers are very good at showing us carrots and changing our buying behaviors by bombarding us with images of pleasure and happiness. Their advertisements tell us that if we buy their products we can also have the carrots they are showing us, whether it is a beautiful woman in a new car, or amazing profits from a financial product, or a naked woman holding a beer. They want us to change our behavior by showing us how much better our life could be if we bought their products or services. Motivational Self ChangeTo make our own personal changes we have to get very clear about what is negative (whip) about the habit and what benefits (carrots) we will gain by changing. List as many whippings and carrots as possible. Negatives can be reinforced with images and life experiences like visiting a cancer ward if you are trying to change your smoking behavior. While positives can be reinforced by images and life experiences like taking your dream car for a test drive or walking through display homes similar to your dream home. We have to continually reinforce both the whipping (creating intense pain if we DON'T change) and the carrot (creating intense pleasure if we DO change). The more ways of emphasizing the good and bad associated with the behavior we want to change, the more likely we will continue with the new positive habit. Pain and pleasure are powerful driving forces when we learn to focus them and use them properly.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

make money

Money is good! In this day and age that we live in, money is not only good, but absolutely essential. Besides air, it may be the next most important thing in life. Of course health, love, friendship, fitness, faith, and happiness are all very important too, but how do we eat, or pay rent, or go to the doctor without having money? Until we change society dramatically, money will always be number two on a scale of importance, with air being number one.That doesn't mean that money should be one's only reason for existence as that would be a weird and unnatural form of money worshipping. To function in society we have to have a certain amount of money to operate comfortably. That could mean $250 per week or $800 per week depending on your circumstances and your location. Anything above that survival amount is less important than your health, your family, your happiness, your friends, and your spiritual life. Anything below that amount becomes a struggle for survival and should avoided at all costs. Money is not the Root of all EvilMany people form their opinions about money from an early age. Unfortunately this means that many untruths get picked up from those in our life that mean well. One of the biggest untruths is that money is evil and the cause of all our problems. This may have come from our parents or religious authorities or mentors trying to teach us their beliefs. True, money has been involved in many of society's problems, but it is really the people that are causing the problems. Money is really just a tool that is used and abused by people. While there are many people willing to kill or die for money, there are more people using money to heal the sick and feed the poor. A good person will do good with money, while a bad person will usually do evil. A knife shouldn't be labeled evil because of a few bad people using them incorrectly. Money can buy HappinessAnother common term that money has been burdened with is that it can't buy happiness. This is partly true yet mostly false. It is quite possible to have very little money and live a very happy and fulfilled life. But if you have less money than is required for survival and the bills are coming in, your landlord is chasing you, and your children are hungry.. how happy would you be?I'm as hippy as the next dreadlocked, organic eating, environmentalist at a music festival chanting, but I believe that money can increase my happiness. It makes me happy to give to friends, to own a house, to eat organic foods, to provide for my family, to wear comfortable clothes, and to drive a car that is friendlier to the environment. Look at the two richest men in the world as an example. Bill Gates is finding his greatest happiness in giving his money to those that are less fortunate. His friend Warren Buffett has pledged to give the majority of his fortune to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. They are working on solving some of the biggest problems in society because they have the money to do it. Very few wealthy people find happiness in clinging to their great fortunes. They find happiness in providing for their families, their community, and even solving global issues like Warren Buffett and Bill Gates are doing. Increase your MoneyEven if you do believe that money is evil and that money can't buy happiness, it is hard to argue that your life would not be better if you had a little more money. You may not want a million dollar home or a hundred thousand dollar sports car, but being able to pay the bills on time and eating good food should be the starting point for any happy individual. There are ways to increase the amount of money you have with very little sacrifice to your current lifestyle. There are ways that are so simple that most people disregard the advice because they think money is not that easy to acquire. You don't needs accountants and financial advisors or even a large income to start becoming wealthy. All you need is commitment, persistence, and time to have more money. Keep 10 Percent of Your MoneyThe path to becoming wealthy starts with keeping at least 10 percent of all you earn. It's a rule that is ignored only by those with no money. The ten percent is not for holidays or fast cars or a bigger house, but for investing in assets that produce an income and/or increase in value. As your total income increases, your ten percent increases and your tiny amounts that you first started saving each week become larger and larger. Your wealth snowballs with time. If you are not wealthy I can guarantee you that you don't use this technique. If you are wealthy, there's a good chance that used this technique or something very similar. George S. Clason wrote a little book of money parables called the Richest Man in Babylon. It's a book that should be essential reading for everyone that has less than $10,000 in the bank.

new year goals

There has never been a better time in all of human history to be alive than today. There are more opportunities for you to accomplish more things, in more different fields, engaging in more different activities, than have ever existed before.
Resolve today to make the coming year the very best year of your life. Resolve today to draw a line under your past and to focus very clearly on your future. Resolve today that you are going to set goals, make plans, take actions and achieve more in the coming year than perhaps you have ever accomplished in any one single year before.
One of the great rules for success is this: "It doesn't matter where you're coming from; all that really matters is where you're going!"
No matter what you have done or accomplished in the past, "that was then and this is now."
The very best days, weeks, months and years of your life lie ahead. The most exciting accomplishments and the greatest achievements are still to come. As Shakespeare said, "The past is merely a prelude."
As it happens, everyone has goals. But some people seem to accomplish their goals far more systematically and with greater assurance than others. Why is this? The answer is simple. People who accomplish goals at a higher rate than the average are people who use a systematic, proven method of goal setting and goal attainment.
Perhaps the two most important qualities of success are focus and concentration. Focus means knowing exactly what it is you want and concentration means having the discipline to concentrate single-mindedly on one thing, the most important thing, until it is complete.
If you have these qualities, and both of these qualities are learned through practice, you can accomplish virtually anything. There are no limits on your future if you can focus and concentrate every hour of every single day.
The starting point of setting goals for the coming year is for you to project forward and think back. Practice what we call "Back from the Future" thinking. Project forward to the end of the next twelve months and ask yourself, "If everything happens perfectly, what will it look like?"
The one quality of men and women who become leaders in their own lives and societies, throughout all of history is the quality of vision. They have the ability to visualize. They can see the future well in advance of it becoming a reality. They can then see the steps that they will need to take to get from where they are to where they want to go.
So if your next twelve months were ideal, in every respect, what would happen or, what would have happened, at the end of that twelve month period? You need to set goals that are multi-dimensional. You need to set goals for every part of your life so that you function like a well-oiled machine, like a balanced wheel that goes around smoothly in every respect. You need goals for your health, for your career, for your finances, for your relationships, for your personal and professional development, for your community and for your spiritual growth. Nothing happens by accident. Everything happens for a reason. And you are the "primary creative force" in your own life. You are the reason. Things are happening in your life because you make them happen, not because you sit around and wait for them to happen.
Here is the basic seven-step model of goal setting. You can use this like breathing in and breathing out on a regular basis to accelerate your attainment of any goal you can imagine for yourself.
Step number one is for you to decide exactly what you want. This immediately moves you into a separate category of people because most people have no idea of what they really want. Clarity is the most important single quality of goal-setting and perhaps the most important single quality of success. Decide exactly what you want in each area of your life. Instead of fuzzy goals like more money, better health and happiness, be specific about exactly how much more money you want to earn in a specific period of time and combine that with exactly what level of health and fitness you desire.
Most people are unconsciously preoccupied with the fear of failure. It is the greatest single obstacle to success in adult life. And the fear of failure can work on you unconsciously by blocking you from setting clear specific goals. Why? Well, if you don't set clear, specific goals, then you can't fail to achieve them. So your subconscious mind is actually protecting you by helping you to avoid failure.
You must resist and overcome this tendency by having the courage to be bold and specific about exactly what you want. This is step number one.
Step number two is for you to write it down. Only three percent of living Americans, or adults anywhere for that matter, have written goals. Everyone else that thinks about a written goal and plans to write them down, someday. But they never get around to it. Most people spend more time making a list of groceries before they go shopping or planning a vacation than they do in planning their lives. But again, this is not for you. Success begins with a pad of paper, a pen and a few minutes of your time. One of the most important keys to success is to "think on paper."
All successful people "think on paper." And here are two important points. If you cannot write it down clearly and specifically on a piece of paper, then it means that you are not really clear about it yourself. Perhaps you don't even want it. What is worse, it may be that you are afraid that you may not attain it. Nonetheless, a goal that is written down is merely a fantasy or a wish. A goal that is clearly written and described on a piece of paper takes on a power of its own, it is now something concrete that you can touch and feel and work with.
The second principle of writing goals down is that something miraculous happens between the head and the hand. When you actually write a goal down, it is as if you are programming it into your subconscious mind and activating a whole series of mental powers that will enable you to accomplish more than you ever dreamed of. By writing it down you intensify your desire for the goal and you increase your belief that the goal is possible. You begin to expect to achieve the goal and you start to attract people and circumstances into your life that are consistent with the attainment of the goal. Writing your goal down is one of the most amazing of all goal-setting skills and it is a key to your success.
The third step is for you to set a deadline. If it is a large goal, set a series of sub-deadlines. A deadline acts as a "forcing system" on your subconscious mind and begins to move you toward your goal rapidly while it moves your goal toward you.
Sometimes people ask me, "What if I set a goal and I don't achieve it by the deadline?" The answer is simple. Set another deadline. Remember, a deadline is a guess-timate of when you will achieve it. Sometimes you will achieve your goal well in advance of your deadline. Sometimes goals will take much longer than you expect. But you must have a target time before you set off.
It is like making a reservation at a restaurant. You may be five minutes early or five minutes late, but you always have a specific time for which your dinner is reserved.The fourth step is for you to make a list of everything you could possibly think of that you will have to do to achieve your goal. The more comprehensive your list, the more motivated you will become, the more intense will be your desire and the more you will believe it possible.
One of the things that hold people back is even if they get to the point of a written goal; they do not take the time to lay out a list of all the little things they will have to do to get there. And with additional experience, you will add new items to your list until it finally becomes complete.
The fifth step of goal setting is for you to take your list and organize it into a plan. A plan is really quite simple. It is a list organized by priority and importance. You decide what you will do first and what you will do later. You decide what is more important and what is less important. And most of all, you decide upon the one thing that is more important than anything else that you can do immediately to begin moving more rapidly towards your goal.
Step number six is for you to "take action!" This is the big killer for most people. They are procrastinators. They have great ideas combined with great hopes and dreams. They may even get to the point of writing down their goals. But when it comes to taking action, they always have a reason or excuse to procrastinate to put it off until a later time. However, as the Bible says, "Faith without deeds is dead."
It is when you launch toward your goal that you begin to feel the desire and power that goes along with goal setting. And once you have launched toward your goal, it is much easier for you to continue moving in that direction.
Step number seven is for you to do something every day to move you toward your major goal. Never let a day go by without you engaging in some action that helps you move another step in the direction of what you really, really want in life.
Remember, you can't hit a target that you can't see. And if you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there. The simple seven step act of deciding exactly what you want, writing it down, setting a deadline, making a list, organizing the list into a plan, taking action on the most important item on your list and then doing something every day towards your goal will change your life and your future in ways that you cannot even dream of today

“ The Key to a Better Life”

Time management is basically about being focused. The Pareto Principle also known as the '80:20 Rule' states that 80% of efforts that are not time managed or unfocused generates only 20% of the desired output. However, 80% of the desired output can be generated using only 20% of a well time managed effort. Although the ratio '80:20' is only arbitrary, it is used to put emphasis on how much is lost or how much can be gained with time management.
Some people view time management as a list of rules that involves scheduling of appointments, goal settings, thorough planning, creating things to do lists and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.
But there is more skills involved in time management than the core basics. Skills such as decision making, inherent abilities such as emotional intelligence and critical thinking are also essential to your personal growth.
Personal time management involves everything you do. No matter how big and no matter how small, everything counts. Each new bits of knowledge you acquire, each new advice you consider, each new skill you develop should be taken into consideration.
Having a balanced life-style should be the key result in having personal time management. This is the main aspect that many practitioners of personal time management fail to grasp.
Time management is about getting results, not about being busy.
The six areas that personal time management seeks to improve in anyone's life are physical, intellectual, social, career, emotional and spiritual.
The physical aspect involves having a healthy body, less stress and fatigue.
The intellectual aspect involves learning and other mental growth activities.
The social aspect involves developing personal or intimate relations and being an active contributor to society.
The career aspect involves school and work.
The emotional aspect involves appropriate feelings and desires and manifesting them.
The spiritual aspect involves a personal quest for meaning.
Thoroughly planning and having a set of things to do list for each of the key areas may not be very practical, but determining which area in your life is not being giving enough attention is part of time management. Each area creates the whole you, if you are ignoring one area then you are ignoring an important part of yourself.
Personal time management should not be so daunting a task. It is a very sensible and reasonable approach in solving problems big or small.
A great way of learning time management and improving your personal life is to follow several basic activities.
One of them is to review your goals whether it be immediate or long-term goals often.
A way to do this is to keep a list that is always accessible to you.
Always determine which task is necessary or not necessary in achieving your goals and which activities are helping you maintain a balanced life style. Each and everyone of us has a peek time and a time when we slow down, these are our natural cycles. We should be able to tell when to do the difficult tasks when we are the sharpest.
Learning to say "No". You actually see this advice often. Heed it even if it involves saying the word to family or friends.
Pat yourself at the back or just reward yourself in any manner for an effective time management result.
Try and get the cooperation from people around you who are actually benefiting from your efforts of time management.
Don't procrastinate. Attend to necessary things immediately.
Have a positive attitude and set yourself up for success. But be realistic in your approach in achieving your goals.
Have a record or journal of all your activities. This will help you get things in their proper perspective.
These are the few steps you initially take in becoming a well rounded individual.
As the say personal time management is the art and science of building a better life.
From the moment you integrate into your life time management skills, you have opened several options that can provide a broad spectrum of solutions to your personal growth. It also creates more doors for opportunities to knock on.